POST TRAUMATIC SHEF DISORDER

I am a medically retired Marine Corps veteran, a father, and a husband. I also happen to suffer from PTSD and treatment-resistant major depressive disorder — and probably a slew of other undiagnosed mental health disorders. I also love to cook. When I am not advocating for veterans, riding my motorcycle, or satisfying a my current 2-week ADD obsession, I am in the kitchen making as big of a mess as my wife will tolerate.

The trauma from my PTSD is one that isn’t talked about much. I have spoken to 3 star generals who had no idea it was an issue. I am a male veteran who was sexually assaulted and now I suffer from Military Sexual Trauma (MST). This is an issue that is currently not being addressed and many are suffering in silence. I have struggled for years trying to find help or a community that understands my struggles. After being rejected from many treatment centers and wellness retreats — and going through many failed medical treatments — I decided enough is enough. I will create my own space where everyone can feel as free talking about their issues as if they were discussing a broken bone.

So where did I get the idea for Post Traumatic Shef Disorder? I come from a Polish family and decided I wanted to cook something from my roots. I made some pierogis just like my Busha and my two great aunts would often do. I didn’t have their recipe so I tried my hardest to replicate them. After boiling and mashing potatoes and rolling and folding dough into little pillows of goodness, I friend the pierogis and sprinkled a little sugar on top just the way Busha liked them. I took one bite and had a flashback, just like the food critic in Ratatouille. I was back in Busha’s kitchen with the linoleum floor, wood-panel walls and ugly kitchen cabinets. I could feel my Busha’s warmth and smell the care of her cooking. I thought “WOW, food has crazy power over us, even if just for a second. I could escape.” I then started really diving into how food can transform me. I was able to be mindful with chopping cabbage for a slaw, feeling the cool strands on my fingers, noticing the difference in texture as I mixed in julienne carrots.

With this channel I hope to empower others on a path of resilience through the stories and struggles of others. I want to show the power connection that we have with food. And inspire you to find that dish that takes you away, if only for a bite.